Urukundo ni ijambo rikoreshwa kenshi, ariko rusobanurwa gake. Hari abaruvuga kenshi ariko bakarugaragaza gake. Hari n’abarwinjiramo kubera irungu, inyungu, cyangwa igitutu cy’abo babana, ariko bakabyita urukundo.
Ikibazo gikomeye si uko umuntu akubwira ko agukunda. Ikibazo ni uko abigaragaza igihe cyose, cyane cyane mu bihe bigoye. Urukundo rwa nyarwo ntirushingira ku marangamutima y’akanya gato, ahubwo ruba rufite ishingiro rishingiye ku cyubahiro, ku kwizerana no ku nshingano.
Dore ibimenyetso 10 bifatika bishobora kukwereka ko umubano wawe wubakiye ku rukundo rw’ukuri.
1. Aguha umwanya n’icyubahiro, atari uko abifitiye umwanya gusa
Niba umuntu akwitaho gusa igihe abona ari wenyine cyangwa nta kindi ari gukora, ibyo si urukundo rwimbitse. Urukundo rwa nyarwo rugaragarira mu kuba ahari no muri bito, mu byishimo no mu bibazo. Agutega amatwi, akubaha mu ruhame no mu ibanga ryanyu bwite, kandi ntiyigire nk’aho uri munsi ye.
2. Ashyira imbere inyungu zawe nk’uko ashyira imbere ize
Urukundo si isoko ryo kungukiramo. Iyo ahorana imitekerereze igira iti “njyewe mbere,” wowe ukaza nyuma, umenye ko uri mu mubano urimo ubusumbane. Uwo muntu ugukunda by’ukuri yishimira kukubona utera imbere, n’iyo ataba ari we ubigizemo uruhare runini.
3. Amagambo ye ahura n’ibikorwa bye
Abantu benshi ni intyoza mu kuvuga. Ariko niba asezeranya byinshi ntasohoze, niba ahora aguha impamvu aho kuguha ibisubizo, menya ko hari icyuho gikomeye. Urukundo rwa nyarwo rufite gihamya igaragarira mu bikorwa bisobanutse kandi bihoraho.
4. Aguha umutekano w’amarangamutima
Nta rukundo rugusiga mu rujijo buri munsi. Niba uhora wibaza aho uhagaze, niba uhora ufite ubwoba bwo kuvuga icyo utekereza, uwo si umutekano w’amarangamutima. Umukunzi nyawe aguha ituze, ntakuzanira guhora mu gihirahiro.
5. Akubwiza ukuri n’iyo bitamworoheye cyangwa abona bitaranagushimisha
Gukunda si ukwemeranya kuri byose. Iyo ukoze ikosa, arakubwira ariko mu buryo bwubaka, ataguca intege cyangwa kukwibasira. Ntiyirengagiza ibitagenda neza ngo aceceke, ahubwo ashaka ko mwiyubaka mwembi.
6. Ashishikajwe n’inzozi zawe
Ese azi ibyo ushaka kugeraho? Ese abigushyigikirami? Umuntu uri mu rukundo rwa nyarwo ntiyicara ngo akurebere gusa. Agutera inkunga, akaguha imbaraga zo gukomeza, ndetse akishimira iterambere ryawe.
7. Yishimira intsinzi yawe aho kuyipfobya
Hari abantu bumva bamerewe nabi iyo utera imbere. Iyo ugeze ku ntsinzi, bagashaka kugabanya agaciro kayo cyangwa bakayihindurira icyerekezo. Uwo si umukunzi, ni umwanzi wihishe mu mutaka wurukundo. Urukundo rwa nyarwo rwishimira gutsinda kwawe nk’aho ari ukwe.
8. Ntagukoresha nk’igikoresho cyo kumva ameze neza
Niba agushaka gusa igihe ari wenyine, ababaye cyangwa akeneye uwamuhumuriza, hanyuma akakwirengagiza igihe ameze neza, menya ko uri mu mubano urimo ubwikunde. Urukundo rw’ukuri ntiruba urw’igihe gito cyangwa urushingiye ku nyungu runaka.
9. Yubaka icyizere aho kugisenya
Kubeshya, guhisha ibintu bikomeye cyangwa gukina n’amarangamutima ni ibimenyetso by’umutekano muke. Umubano mwiza wubakira ku kuri no gukorera mu mucyo. Icyizere cyubakwa buhoro, ariko gisenywa vuba kandi umuntu ugukunda by’ukuri arakirinda.
10. Atekereza ku hazaza harimo “twe”
Iyo ateganya ejo hazaza he, ese akuvugamo? Niba uri umuntu wo gutuma aryoherwa n’ubuzima gusa, ntazigera agushyira mu mushinga w’ubuzima bwe. Urukundo rwa nyarwo rufite icyerekezo kirimo “twe” aho kuba “njye” gusa.
Ikibazo gikomeye
Ibimenyetso byose twavuze birakwereka uko umuntu ashobora kugukunda. Ariko hari ikibazo gikomeye kurushaho: ese nawe ibyo urabigaragaza?
Abantu benshi bashaka gukundwa by’ukuri ariko ntibiteguye gukunda by’ukuri. Urukundo si amagambo meza cyangwa amafoto meza; ni inshingano, ni ukwihangana, ni ukwiyubaka buri munsi.
Niba usomye ibi wumva hari ibitagenda neza mu mubano wawe, ntukihutire kwihangana buhumyi cyangwa kwirukana umuntu utabanje gutekereza. Banza usesengure, urebe ukuri, hanyuma ufate umwanzuro ufite ishingiro kubera ko ibyo ni bike mu byakwereka ko uri mu rukundo rwa nyarwo, hari ibindi byinshi wenda twazagenda tugarukaho, kuba rero tutabivuga byose ngo tubirangize ni byo byerekana ko urukundo ari umushinga ukorwa n’umuntu mukuru, wawundi uzi kureba agasesengura hanyuma akanimenyera ibimukwiriye agafata n’umwanzuro.
Urukundo rwa nyarwo rurahari ariko rusaba abantu babiri batari mu mikino, ahubwo bari mu mushinga w’ubuzima.
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